fairy tale.

I did it. Although I set my DVR last night, I set my alarm for 5am and woke up before the sun to watch the wedding of two complete strangers. I wasn't alone because there were billions of people watching as well. I thought it was perfect. I thought she was perfect.

 

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My favorite moments were the small details. When Kate arrive to the alter and William told her she looked beautiful and then he said to her father that they were just expecting a small family gathering. Those few seconds brought it back from the grand worldwide stage that the wedding is on to simply a father giving his daughter's hand to the man she loves. I also loved it when they sat in the carriage and Kate asked William if he was happy. The Bishop reminded all of us that "every wedding is a royal wedding". I am sure that those of you who are married can attest to the princess feeling of your own special day. 

To everyone saying that we should focus on what is going on in the US and not worry about the wedding, it is possible to care about more than one thing. Just because I tuned in to watch the ceremony does not mean that my heart is not breaking for those in the South who have had everything destroyed by the tornadoes or that I am not concerned with what our government is doing and what is going to be happening with the 2012 election. But when we have Donald Trump parading around like he is and saying that our President did not have the qualifications to attend an Ivy League college or demanding his birth certificate be shown, forgive me for wanting to take a few hours and get caught up in something other than the problems we have at home.

i got sunshine.

{I love that song and My Girl is one of my favorite movies of all time.}

Cue the angels singing, hallelujah Spring is here! 

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Thanks to those of you who offered some comforting words on yesterday's most uncomfortable post. A special thanks to MCW, I have come to really appreciate the much needed perspective she provides me. The truth of the matter is that these are my years, my selfish years as I have dubbed them, and I am going to live them. There may be some bumps in the road or detours along the way, but they are just adding to my story.

Another confession: Remember the date I had mentioned a few weeks ago? There had been incessant texting on his part for about two weeks. I could have set my watch to him. It was definitely a bit of overkill. Well, I didn't mention it after the fact because the truth is, HE STOOD ME UP! I thought I was in a bad romantic comedy or a dream but it happened and after many mascara tears that night I have lived to tell about it. It really made no sense to me, it still doesn't but that's his issue not mine. I think it's safe to say I dodged a crazy bullet with that one. He had sent me a text Thursday night saying he would see me the next day and that he was looking forward to it and then NOTHING. Haven't heard a word from him since, not that I expected to. I blamed myself and tried to figure out what I had done, which is a habit I need to break, but I know I am not the first or the last person to get stood up. In summation, dating in this day and age is really tough. I am beginning to wonder if being an old cat lady would be easier and preserve even a shred of my sanity. Joke... obviously an over dramatic blanket statement, my specialty. And let's be real, I hate cats.


P.S. Who is going to the NYC Blogger Meetup on Sunday?! 

limbo.

Defined as any status where a person or project is held up, and nothing can be done until another action happens. I do believe that best describes my current state of being. Everything seems so up in the air and untied down and I am not at all sure of the direction that I will be headed in. Normally, I would be panic stricken. Not to say that I am not concerned and trying to figure out what my next move is going to be, but at this present moment, no decisions can be made. Everything is contingent upon something else. Allow me to explain...

Remember that big test that I was studying for and stressing out over? Confession: I didn't take it. I chickened out and didn't want to sit in front of a screen for 3 hours and fail the test. I wasn't getting passing scores on my pretests and I just felt pigeon holed into this very specific test for this very specific career. Is it wrong of me at 22 to just want a job and not a career? Career has such permanent undertones to me and it FREAKED me out. Not a total loss {other than the monetary loss of the test fee} because if I decide to stay in the field I am in now, I can take a different, more relevant series of exams. Therein lies the problem, I don't love what I am doing right now. Granted I feel like the office environment is playing a large part in my feelings towards my actual work, but like I've said before I want to do something that means something to me and I'm almost certain that pension plans ain't it. Professionally, I feel that I need to stay at this job until after our busy season which puts me at the end of October. Fine by me, that is a little over a year, a good chunk of time to put on a resume. The problem of my living situation comes into play because my lease is up in September, I want to move into Manhattan, I don't want to renew for a year out in the suburbs, but I cant afford to move in by myself, who could I live with? Could I get a 6 month lease and then get a new job and new apartment sometime in February or March? My brain just keeps working out all the different possible scenarios. I am considering drawing a flow chart, I think that would summarize this craziness the best. I know nothing needs to be decided today, and I can't really start applying for jobs now when the earliest I could start would be November. If you follow any of this at all, thank you. If not, it is fine because I don't really understand it myself.

i sort of love this. trying to move forward but feeling stalled and slow moving.

In other, less emo kid news, it is going to be 78 degrees today! If you have been reading for any length of time you know that I am not a fan of cold weather. My Jack Rogers have finally made their debut today. Yay for open toed shoes! Hope it is warm where you are as well. Thanks for finally getting here Spring, it has been long overdue. 

image.

that's the way it is.

thoughts on a friday aka some things i've come to know in the past 7 days.

• no matter what it is: pizza, toast, or cake it will always fall butter/cheese/icing side down.

• regardless of the entire row of empty treadmills behind or in front of me, someone will always pick the one directly to my left/right.

• your sports team is more likely to win if you are not watching.

• boys are strange. very strange.

• the forrest gump soundtrack is the best of all time. i challenge anyone to prove me wrong. it cannot be done.

• hairdressers will ask you if you want to keep your length. regardless of your answer you leave that place with at least an inch less hair than you came in with.

• hitting the snooze button five times will always make you late. 

• even if you're late there is always time for a dunkin donuts iced coffee.

• just when you think spring might finally show up to the party, here comes an overnight freeze warning.

• regardless of the week you had, waking up and knowing it is friday is the greatest.

image.

somewhere out there.

Apparently there are 169 or more of you reading this right now, which still blows my mind that anyone wants to read about little old me. If you are in fact reading this, I invite you to come out from behind your Google reader and leave a comment. Introduce yourself, where are you from, what do you do for fun. And if you are reading about me, I want to read about you too so if I am not already doing so, leave a link to your blog!

In other news, I am really itching for some warm weather. It is 44 degrees out right now and the sky is so grey. I feel like I am continuously complaining about the weather and for that I apologize but it is such a struggle. Please come out sunshine from wherever it is that you are being held captive. I am currently loving all the pre-made outfits Anthropologie is featuring. It really takes some of the guess work out of putting different pieces together when they have already done it for you, dontcha think? 

 

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Have a great Wednesday! xox