My Story.

*WARNING: Less than cheery post ahead!

A lot of you have written "Your Stories". Whether they be the story of how you came into your faith, met your significant other, or some other big life event, you have let us in to a part of your life. I can only guess that it wasnt all that comfortable at first but you felt glad afterward and probably a little less burdened. As I sit here preparing to write My Story, I can only hope that it somehow helps me to heal and move forward.

I talked in a previous post about my quest to lose 30 pounds by graduation in May. I feel that in order to be the least bit successful in that I need to rid myself of a lot of baggage. This is my first attempt at that. I have/had an eating disorder since about the end of 7th grade. I struggle with whether to describe this in past or present tense because I don't know if this is something that I or anyone for that matter ever gets over. It comes in waves so I think its more of an on/off thing than something that I am rid of.

I was a skinny child. A bean pole if you will. I had danced from the age of 3 and in 6th grade I auditioned for the competitive group at my studio. I never had any issues with the way I looked, but then again I was 11 years old. I remember feeling less than comfortable in my two piece costume for my jazz number but I look back at pictures of a body without an once of fat on it and wonder what the hell I was worried about. Puberty came and things changed and then I moved the summer between 6th and 7th grade. I remember coming home that day and eating some ice cream and flipping out. I went into the bathroom and made myself sick.

I talk a lot about the relationship that I have with my mother. While she is my best friend, she has also been a big contributing factor to my self image issues. It was always something with her. "Suck in your stomach, you know if you were just a little thinner you would get more attention from boys" and it continued like that for years. Around 8th or 9th grade she figured out what I had been doing and ensued the denial, the promising of stopping but I was really lost in all of it. It continued for the majority of high school and I had to come up with more creative ways of hiding it. Sophomore year of high school I decided I needed to get some help. The therapist was less than helpful as she blamed everything on my mother, which in her defense isnt really fair. My grandmother was hard on her growing up and I think that it just translated into her not knowing any differently when it came to dealing with my sister and me.

When I got to college, I enrolled myself in a program in hopes that this would be a big change for me. I met with a nutritionist, psychologist, and the physician on campus and I felt like I was making some headway. Community bathrooms probably saved me for that year because obviously there was no privacy. Sophomore year I moved into a house turned into a dorm with a roommate who had the same struggles as me. Horrible idea, even worse situation. Living in that room was like living in a blackhole. I cant remember exactly but it was probably one of my worst semesters academically as well. Luckily we both moved into the sorority building, so we were able to part as friends knowing that it had been a bad living situation.

Since then, I have been fine while at school. I might not eat the healthiest but I have been able to rationalize in my head that making myself sick is not the answer. I just want to be healthy and happy. I want to feel good in my own skin, and I know that weight loss is not the end all be all and that beauty comes from within etc etc but we all know we live in a SKINNY WORLD. Its tough being a girl these days with all the pressures on us to be beautiful. I know that everything in my life is connected. When I dont feel good about my appearance I am moody and I push people away and everything sort of spirals.

So here it is, 3 days before a new year, a new decade, and a new me. In 6th months I will be out of college and moving on to a new stage of my life and I want to be the best version of myself when I embark on my future. I was talking to a friend the other day and she was saying that she just cant get herself to work out and I said that I think if you just force yourself for a little while it becomes part of your everyday. So it seems that I know, WHAT I need to do, the execution of that is where I fall short.

If you made it through this, Thank you. Here's to all of us, in the quest to be the best we can be.

Sunny Sunday!

Hi all! Hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas! Mine was spent mostly in the car on our way down to Charleston. It was raining SO hard. I guess rain is better than snow but it was pretty hard to see for a bit. Yesterday we hit up some outlet malls and I had such a terrible headache that I did not want to shop in the least. This can only mean that I am deathly ill or losing my mind because I am never one to turn down shopping. There weren't too many stores that I liked, and I am not the biggest fan of my body these days and trying on clothes was the last thing I wanted to do. Today/New Years Resolution is to lose 30 pounds by graduation in May. We all know those robes are less than flattering so I don't want to add fuel to the fire. I am also having a big party and want to be able to get a really pretty dress (in a smaller size) and look good in all the pictures that are taken. Hopefully I can use this blog when I get back to campus to keep me on my toes, since we all know how toxic college is with its 3am food delivery services. WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!

Today is my parents' 23rd anniversary. Is it cynically of me to wonder if I will ever be able to stand someone that long? I was talking to my mom about this the other day and she was saying that part of their "success story" if you will is that she married someone she could grow and change with. That seems to make a lot of sense to me as even now I am a VERY independent person. I want someone to experience new things with but I dont ever see myself being one of those girls that cant breathe on their own.

We are headed to historic downtown Charleston for some sightseeing and such. Then it is off to the aquarium.. it looks like they have a great penguin exhibit. And then I think Dad and I will be doing a wine tasting. Yum! Perhaps I will be in more of a shopping mood today. I could seriously get used to 60 degree weather in December! Why am I taking a job in New York? Have a great day everyone!

**I am thinking about doing a giveaway once I get to 50 followers so keep checking back!

Blizzard of '09!

Hello all! I am finally starting to make my way back out into the world after all this snow we got on the East Coast. I was literally in shock that we got as much as the weathermen/women predicted because that almost NEVER happens. The last time we got this much snow was the Blizzard of '96 and we were out of school for 2 weeks. I remember being in elementary school and having an absolute ball with sister and brother. Now that I am older, I would much rather just watch the snow fall from inside than tromp around in it.

Not too much going on in Hometown, VA. A new bar opened up earlier in the Fall so everyone I ever knew in life goes there and its always a high school reunion in there. Last night was no exception, but it is starting to get a bit old. Tomorrow the family and I are heading to Charleston for a few days. I wish it were summer time but I feel like its going to be a good trip as long as Dad and Brother don't get into it. They have a history of getting into some heated arguments, especially on long road trips. Its about an 8 hour drive, but hopefully it flies by. Anyone have any good shopping/sight-seeing recommendations? They would be most helpful.

I don't think I have discussed this before, but I suppose there is no time like the present. My mom is Jewish and my dad is Catholic, so over the years our holiday festivities have taken some twists and turns. When I was younger and the only child we did both. I received gifts on Hanukkah as well as on Christmas morning. I know there is a video of the three of us opening gifts on Christmas when we were pretty young and then somewhere over the years we only got Hanukkah presents and my dad got Christmas presents. At some point in elementary school we moved back to both. In recent years we haven't been home on Christmas as we were always in Upstate, NY with family. Well, the moral of the story is that we put up our Christmas tree this year for the first time in about 10 years. It was already up by the time I got home, and we don't really have much tradition. I read all of your blogs about the things you do ever year around the holiday season and it makes me think about my lack thereof when it comes to holiday traditions. I don't really know where I was going with that so excuse the hodge podge of thoughts. I guess I can only make sure that when I get married and have a family of my own, that I start my own traditions.

Question for those of you that are married/engaged/otherwise involved. I was talking with my mom about NY next year and finding a boy, etc etc. as she often likes to point out my apparent loneliness and ask me what I am bringing to the table and why I am still single and all sorts of introspective questions. Well, she claims that you'll never meet the person of your dreams in a bar. My thoughts are that you never know. Especially in NYC where there are so many different types of people. What are your thoughts? Where did you girls meet your current significant others?

Merry Christmas Eve everyone! Hope you are all spending time with the ones you love!

Two more days!

Hello all! Heading into the final stretch of finals.. My probability exam is tomorrow at 330. I am just about to collect my pages and pages of notes and head up to the library. That place is slowly sucking the life out of me but I won't get anything done at home so it is a necessary trip. We have to edit our final report for my Senior Design course by Wednesday at 5pm but I am hoping we can get that done tomorrow night and then I can pack and leave early Wednesday. Cannot wait to be home! My little sister is already home because she started a week before me in August. Not sure about my brother but it will be nice when we are all home. I called my dad before Thanksgiving and asked if he was ready for us to "descend upon them" and ruin the quiet that is their empty nest. We had so much fun just drinking wine and playing copious amounts of Catch Phrase. I am sure Winter Break will be no shortage of fun.

I am at such an emotional crossroads these days. I cannot wait to be done with the learning aspect of college. I need a break from exams and homework assignments and learning pointless things that will serve me no greater purpose in life. At the same time, I don't want to wish college away. I know that after I walk across that stage in May, there is no turning back. And I remember feeling like I had wished high school away after being so eager to get to college. I never want to stop learning and growing but I just think I am ready for the next step. Is that okay? Is it abnormal for a person to feel like they are over college? Arent these the best years of my life? I suppose all of that will need to be sorted out after I conquer random variables and joint density functions.

In other news.. thank you to Christine at The Sweet Sea for my newest award! I have yet to reveal the name of my Small Liberal Arts University but let's just say there exists a definite rivalry between Christine and I's schools, but I still think she is incredibly sweet!

10 things that make me happy:

1. The fact that my mother and I talk no less than 3 times a day and she often calls for no reason

2. A glass of wine with good friends

3. Scarves and gloves

4. Washington Capitals

5. Sushi, sushi, and more sushi!

6. Kisses on the forehead

7. My amazing family

8. Doing something nice for someone else

9. Big cities with noise and mass transportation (specifically NYC and DC)

10. Oprah. I HAVE to go to Chicago before 2011!!

I have stalled long enough on the studying so I have to get into gear now. The next time you hear from me I will be back in the South! Hopefully it is a little bit warmer at home!!

Bad Romance

*Currently loving that song... GaGa is a freak and I don't understand her but her music is great! If you haven't already, listen to her song Speechless. She wrote it for her dad and it is absolutely FABULOUS!

I am still here.. although just barely. My apologies for the recent abandonment. My life has been going non stop and I dont think I will be able to breathe until this time next week when I am at home for 5 WHOLE WEEKS! Cannot wait. I am just about done with 2 of my 4 classes. I have a final Friday and one next Tuesday. After I hit publish on here I am hightailing it to the library. That place really sucks the life out of me but I wont get work done otherwise so I am pushing through!

Hanukkah starts tonight at sundown! We have become very lax the last 5 or so years with the holidays. We haven't been lighting the candles and we haven't gotten a Christmas tree (my religious status in a future, possibly controversial post). This year with all of us being at college until next week I wonder what my parents will do. I know they are getting antsy for us to come home.

MUST GET TO STUDYING THEORY OF COMPUTATION! Doesnt that name just sound vile? It is every bit as awful as its name. But next week I am a SECOND SEMESTER SENIOR! My goodness how time flies. My professor for this class is retiring after this semester and he was joking about how time is not linear, and I couldnt agree with you more. My life is definitely on an exponential incline, going faster than I would have ever liked or imagined!

Happy finals to those of you still in school and Happy Holidays to all!

Tomorrowww!

Ah yes! This time tomorrow I will have turned in my accounting assignment and be on my way home. I think as I've gotten older I really have just treasured good family and friends even more. I just saw my mom on Monday as she stopped for dinner after the closing on the sale of my grandparents' condo in NY (which warrants its own post soon) but I still feel like its been ages. She wants to get the whole family together and go see The Blind Side over break which I am SO excited about. Everyone has been giving it great reviews and as much as Sandra Bullock irks me, I feel like her performance will be stellar. I think Sister and Brother (17 and 19) would rather die than have a family outing but hopefully they play along. We are a very close family emotionally, but we don't spend a lot of time together physically if that makes sense at all. We were all hyper involved high school students and with both of our parents working, I can recall very few family dinners in my teenage years. I don't think it makes us any less of a good family we are just busy people!

To recap (since I haven't posted in over a week) this past weekend was our Fall formals! I had SO much fun. Best date, best venue of all of our formals. Last Spring was an epic disaster as my date proceeded to black out and ask me to point out all of my single friends. I didn't intend for anything to happen between us past that night but I invited him, and he should have been more respectful than that. But my date this time around was great! One of his fraternity brothers drank a bit too much so he was a good friend and took him home so our night was cut a bit short but it was a lot of fun. Saturday roommate L and I just lounged about and watched some movies. I HAD NEVER SEEN LOVE ACTUALLY IN ITS ENTIRETY! I know I know shame on me! I liked it. But it's also one of those movies that highlights my loneliness and thats never the best feeling. We also watched The Brothers Bloom with Rachel Weisz and Adrien Brody. It was hard to get into at first but it had a good message.

Later on circa 2:30 am, I received a text message from friend boy (couldn't think of a better name so I stole this title from PSP). We've had this toxic sorted past (on my end, I'm sure he hasn't got a clue how difficult he is to figure out) for a while now and I've discussed him before. Just when I think I've finally gotten over it, I'm right back at square one. He just wanted to cuddle and it was a pretty cold night and I'm not one to turn down cuddling, but this limbo is just no good. Do people make Thanksgiving Resolutions? Because getting out of this situation needs to be mine.

I have class tomorrow morning from 8-930am and then I am out of here! I have a hair appointment at 2 so I have literally 4.5 hours to get home. I've made the trip in 3.5 before and there shouldn't be any traffic so hopefully I am okay. Probably going to go out with some friends tomorrow night. We are all finally 21 as I was the last of the crowd to have my birthday and a night out is going to be a big change for us since up until now we would just sit around and have some beers in someone's basement. Goodbye house parties, hello society!

Hope everyone has fantastic Thanksgivings! Bring on the green bean casserole, my favorite!

Today is Me Day

The Holiday is probably one of my absolute favorite movies. As Ive already mentioned, I love quotes and this movie has no shortage of meaningful lines that really cut to my core. I've been there and I think we've all been there. This line in particular highlights exactly how I am feeling today...

This - This twisted, toxic THING between us, is finally finished! I'm miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I've got a life to start living.

I finally got it. I definitely wasn't in love, but I have spent far too much time and effort on this person. I can't make him see me in a way that he doesn't want to. At the end of the day it truly is his loss.

For this reason, today has been declared Me Day! I'm blowing off my classes (maybe not the brightest thing to do as I will have some catching up to do on Monday) and just lounging about. A Lot Like Love is on, with Amanda Peet and Ashton Kutcher. I absolutely adore this movie, but I feel like not many people have seen it. It came out in 2005 and its just adorable. Boy and girl randomly meet, and for years come in and out of each other's lives but the timing is never right. I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

I could REALLY use one of these right now. It's so chilly in my house and I think this is a genius invention. I plan to add one to my kitchen cabinet soon!


Perfectly shaped to warm your hands! And at only $8.90, such a steal!

Perhaps in honor of Me Day, I will do some online shopping. Being able to shop from my couch was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me! Ha. But who doesnt love a hybrid of mail and new things. I'm all about it. Need to do a bit of laundry and my little brother is coming! Maroon 5 and Guster are playing here tomorrow so it will be a fun weekend.

Happy Friday to you all and have a great weekend!

Well hello there!

Hey Buds.. Finally have a few seconds to breathe. I have been busy nonstop this past week. If its not one thing its another... Exam in Theory, Exam in Accounting, Probability assignments, Senior Design report due and the list goes on and on...

Few things first..

Happy Belated Birthday to the USMC! They turned 234 yesterday! My dad was in the Marine Corps for 26 years so the Corps has been a huge part of my life. Love you Dad!

Second, Happy Veterans Day! Thank you to everyone who has served our country.

Third, thank you to the always fabulous Desperately Seeking Seersucker for this award. Love to a fellow Virginian (even though you are a transplant I'll still claim you!)

Here are the Rules for this award:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they've been nominated.

Alright here goes...

1. I rarely listen to an entire song. I have radio ADD and am always flipping through the stations, CDs, or my iPod. Then again, if there is a song that I love I can listen to it over and over and over.

2. I won a writing contest in elementary school for a story I had written about moving and how hard adjusting was.

3. My middle name is that of my paternal grandmother. She died before I was born and someday I want my daugthter to have it as her middle name as well.

4. My sister and I always get mistaken for twins. It used to REALLY bother us as kids. I'm over it now.. but I get bothered when people think shes the older one!

5. I am getting worried that I am never going to be content in life. While I never want to stop growing and learning new things, I have the feeling now that I had as a senior in high school.. part of me just wants to move on. Am I going to feel this way when I get older?

6. I cannot save money. This is going to bite me in the butt in a serious way when I get out on my own. Must learn self control now.

7. There's still that one boy that I hope is going to wake up in the morning and decide he doesnt want to just be my friend anymore. I think I need to get over that fantasy.

I feel like I am the last person in blog land to receive this award.. but if any of you have not.. consider yourselves Kreativ and wonderful ladies!

**Hello to my newest followers!

November, where did you come from?!

Hello all! It has been a few days.. not to mention we have started a new month AND set our clocks back an hour. If I remember correctly, they were considering doing away with Daylight Savings Time at one point? I don't think I would be opposed. I can remember a time in 6th grade going to the bus stop a whole hour early and being terribly freaked out that no one else was there. Anyways... Lost a follower. Boo. Am I the only one who takes this personally? I know I was gone for a few days but Im still hereeeee... still be my friend! :)

Laptop situation has only slightly improved. I had to order a new power cord, but they told me that there was nothing wrong with my laptop. FALSE. The battery is not charging even though the light indicates that it is and every time I turn it off it sets back to June 15, 2oo7. Interesting.

I registered for my last semester of classes this morning.. Strangeeeee. I feel like I will be the only one who is actually going to be doing work next semester. Seems that way from the number of my friends taking Dance Conditioning. I suppose that's what I get for majoring in Computer Science. Sweet.

My weekend was less than eventful. Was NOT in a festive mood and didnt go out Friday night. Caught up on this season of CSI: NY. LOVE me some Ed*die Cahil*l. (I have seen other people do that so their blogs don't come up when people are searching for the celebs? I doubt anyone will find me but just in case.) He is soo gorgeous.

This weekend brought to head some less than comfortable feelings. Part of the reason I didn't go out/dress up on Saturday was because all of the fraternities on campus have date parties, so you don't really want to show up alone. I know if I had a boy at this point in time I would have been all for getting matching costumes and going out. Without fear of being too vulernable.. I think I am just going to spill all my guts out today... Something I have yet to do on this blog but I figure what the hell..

I am 21 years old, a senior in college, about to be out on my own and I have never been in a committed long term relationship.

That feels SO uncomfortable to say out loud, but it is the truth. I can remember being in middle school and thinking once I get to high school there has got to be a guy for me, and thinking the same thing in high school about college. I have gotten the classic pep talk from girl friends: "It's not you, it's them.. there is a guy out there for you somewhere, you just have to wait, blah blah blah" A girl can only hear that so many times before really starting to question what it is that she's doing wrong. Or maybe that is just me.

My mother also gives me the "Boys are intimidated by you. You're intelligent and independent and they don't know what to do." Again, no one wants to hear that over and over. But I understand where she is coming from.. I have friends who I call chronic daters. They hop from one guy to the next and are absolutely TERRIFIED of being alone. Their whole worth is defined by the fact that they are in a relationship and I feel bad for them because I know that they arent capable of standing on their own but at the same time I can't help but be envious that they have someone.

I think part of my problem is that I have never been terribly self confident. I have had huge body image issues since middle school (which is a whole other blog post in itself), but over time I am learning to be more comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I can't really bring much to a relationship until I figure some things out for myself, and that is a work in progress. I think that in the long run, I will be fine. I went on dates this summer, something that I have never really done before and I am learning that it is a lot more about being the most confident girl in the room than the prettiest. After seeing so many people around me be in unhealthy relationships, I know exactly the kind of relationship I DON'T want and also what I do want and deserve, and I don't intend to settle.

If you made it through all of that, thank you. That felt good to get out.

*In other news, I am having an exceptionally fabulous hair day. Too bad I have to go spend the next few hours in the library. Boo.

An Open Letter

Dear University Laptop Program and Tech Desk,

You are currently not my friend. 3 years ago when I bought my laptop through you I was convinced this was a great decision. If something were to go wrong, you would fix my computer FREE of charge AND give me a loaner computer?! I personally couldnt think of anything better than that. This was until I realized that you offer us the CRAPPIEST line of computers possible and are probably sitting around waiting for our computers to break. 3 batteries, 4 battery chargers, 2 main frames, and ONE BRAND SPANKING NEW HARD DRIVE and my laptop doesnt work. And you arent going to do anything about it because wait.. the warranty is only for 3 years, which seems a little strange to me considering that college lasts FOUR YEARS! And thank you again for the reminder that although you know my charger is broken and my battery will not charge there is nothing you can do about it. I have been fooled by you and as a former tour guide of our Admissions office who would RAVE of your greatness to potential future students, I now feel like I have mislead them as well. Thanks a ton!

So all in all.. this sums up why I now have a Google Reader a mile long (which will keep me most occupied on this day of hangover) and have not posted since Monday.

Frustrated,

MLD

Monday.

Happy Monday? I think that might be an oxymoron. Especially since I woke up to drywall having fallen into our shower. Awesome. Roommate put in a maintenance request so hopefully that is fixed soon. How was everyone's weekend? Mine went by way too quickly. Friday night was a typical college night, frat boys and sorority girls packed into a house trying to make their way to the keg. What am I going to do without those Fridays next year? Probably something a little bit more grown up and less sweaty. Saturday morning the roommates and I embarked on our usual tradition of breakfast at the deli down the street and telling stories of our evenings. Never short of entertaining to say the least. I then had to run to a meeting and went the Club Hockey game. We won, but I was not dressed adequately and it was FREEZING in the rink. Saturday night we had a birthday celebration for my friend whose 21st was on Sunday. We had a fun pregame and headed to the bar. She had a great time, so that was a definite success. Sunday = the day of nothingness. I had to meet with my Senior Design group but then roommate and I headed about a half hour North to go to WEGMANS. My favorite grocery store in all the land. This one is a bit older than the one that just opened near my house at home obviously but it was still great. PA's liquor laws are such a bummer though because Wegman's has a great wine selection, which I unfortunately was not able to take advantage of. We then headed to Olive Garden for my favorite... soup, salad, and breadsticks! I could eat a million breadsticks. They are so yummy.

And now here we are... Monday evening. I cant decide if I want to trek up to the library or not but my bed is so comfy right now I don't think I could be productive in the least. I am so very behind on Gossip Girl.. how did this happen?! Here's to another week everyone! love love.

Not Okay!

It is October 15th and it is SNOWING here in Little Town, PA. I am not okay with this. With no warning whatsoever, we went from the beginnings of Fall to full on Winter. I am hoping this is just a freak happening and that it will go back to being the lovely Fall weather that I know and love. Otherwise, I am in for it this year. Snow and I are not the best of friends. It used to bring me much in the way of days off, delayed openings, and early releases. Nothing was better than a snow day. Remember the blizzard of 96? I had 2 weeks off 2nd grade and it was the best thing ever. In VA, people hear a whisper of snow and they act like the Earth is coming to an end. No one knows what to do... all the milk and bread are gone from the shelves of the grocery stores. It is pretty comical to say the least.

Perhaps I need to reevaluate my decision to live/work in NY next year?

Fall Break!

Hello all! It is Monday and I am not in class! Yayyyy! I always forget when holidays are do to the fact that Small Private Liberal Arts University doesnt close for ANYTHING, but was reminded that today is Columbus Day. We are on Fall Break so I have today and tomorrow off of classes. HALF WAY THROUGH THE SEMESTER! AH! Everyone says senior year flies by but I did not expect it to be this quick!

Left campus at noon on Friday. After gas and Starbucks stops (essential refueling!) we were on our way. I dropped my G-little and her friend off and headed on home. I met my parents at my high school as it was our homecoming football game. I can't believe they would want to brave the masses even when they dont have kids there anymore since Little Brother is now in college with Little Sister and I. We won! Which as awesome since it was against our big county rival. Funny how old rivalries still run deep after all this time.

My parents flew up to NY for the weekend for a football game so Saturday Best Friend and I went to Taste of Georgetown. It was so fun minus the rain. The food was great, as was the wine. We had been waiting until the end to get our cupcake from Georgetown Cupcake but they ran out! We had a brownie and an almond bar instead, but I fully intend to check out the cupcake shop next time I am home! Perhaps I should get some shipped to school. That could be dangerous! From there, we headed home, hit up the Red Box and watched New in Town with Renee Zellweger.

I usually am not her biggest fan but this movie was too cute. Harry Connick Jr is dreamy! I know I would never be able to survive the Minnesota winter.

Saturday we went down a little boutique downtown. I got an email that they were selling t-shirt for Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I couldnt resist the opportunity for a cute shirt and to help a great cause. I have known many women affected by breast cancer so I felt the need to do my part. I got the tshirt and a pair of Hanky Pankys because who can resist over-priced super comfy underwear. We were going to head to the Pumpkin Patch but decided instead to go see Couples Retreat. SO FUNNY! I recommend it. Made a quick stop in the mall so I could get my eyebrows threaded. If you've never done it, I recommend trying it out! It can be hard to find places that do it, but the 2 malls that I frequent have put kiosks up. It's a little strange to get your eyebrows done in the middle of the mall traffic but it is worth it! The woman did a great job and it lasts longer than waxing. It was painful the first time I wont lie, but beauty is pain ladies! Stopped into Victoria's Secret for a new bra and the saleswoman was SO convincing I opened a credit card. That needs to be paid off and cancelled immediately. She woudlnt let me say no, but I know nothing good will come of that. My mom's good friend sat me down a few years ago to warn me about graduating college and living beyond my means, which eventually leads to lots of debt. The last thing I need is another credit card. Momentary lapse of will power but we are back in order.

I think the parental units and I are headed into DC for the Caps game tonight. I LOVE HOCKEY! I am the least athletic person you've ever come across and if anyone ever tried to fight me I would probably just crouch down and take it because I am a big wimp, but I LOVE ICE HOCKEY! I love when they fight and when they bang each other into the glass. SO FUN! We were going to head to Matchbox for dinner (which is one of my FAVORITE places), but my mom has a work day today so we wont be leaving until around 4. Let's hope Ovechkin and the boys can pull out a win! For now, I am being lazy on the couch. I am thinking about getting my butt on the treadmill but we will see how much self talk it takes to get me up. Hope everyone had a great Fall weekend! It's getting chilly out!! xox

Sunday Things!

I don't think I realized until now the torture that is college issued XL Twin mattresses. I am having a glorious day in my full size bed catching up on all of my blog friends' lives and I couldnt be more comfy. It is a bit chillier today than yesterday but my UGG slippers (can't be without) and my JCrew cardigan are keeping me warm. I had such a fun weekend. Big/Little Week started Thursday night for my sorority and I now have 3 adorable G-Littles! In theory it is supposed to be a surprise until revelations at the end of the week but all the girls usually figure it out before and this year was no different. The seniors dropped of gifts for our G-Littles in the park today and we are having a surprise for them at chapter. Such a fun week of goodies! Almost makes me wish I could go back to being a sophomore and get fun presents! Yesterday it was SO warm outside so roommate L and some friends and I went to the Fair! It was the last day and I was glad that we remembered and decided to go. It was foggy yesterday morning but then the sun came out. We definitely indulged in the fair cuisine. French fries, cheese steaks, ice cream, it was never ending! I didnt eat all of that though, I dont think I would be able to move! In other fun news, I won a Burberry headband on eBay! YESSSS! It is just what I wanted.

I have an Accounting midterm on Wednesday. I know the material fairly well I am just nervous that I wont have enough time to finish it. It took me almost the whole time to prepare the financial statements for my quiz last week an the exam is significantly longer than the quiz. Ugh.

A huge part of my Sunday ritual is checking out PostSecret. I am literally obsessed with it. I need to buy the new book that is coming out October 6th. If you have never heard of PostSecret, head on over. Frank updates the site every Sunday with anonymous secrets he has received. He travels around to colleges doing talks about the PostSecret project and I am SO jealous of anyone who has had the opportunity to hear him speak. There is something SO powerful about what he is doing. I cannot tell you the number of times I have read a postcard on the site and felt "Wow, someone out there knows EXACTLY how I'm feeling." Truly amazing.

Here's to the start of a new week! Home on Friday!! But frightened that Fall Break marks the half way point of the semester! xo

Hello October!

Well October certainly came out of nowhere! And brought some freezing cold temperatures with it! Obviously not freezing, but anything below 60 is terribly cold in my book! It was a chilly walk to my 8am class this morning, accompanied by a terrible hangover. I think those are the times where I feel the most like I am getting too old for frat parties in the middle of the week. Thankfully only one class today so I have been snuggled up in bed for the majority of today. Google Reader kept me occupied since I have been behind on reading all your posts! Not much going on over here.. I had an exam yesterday and another one next Wednesday. I am lucky that my 3 midterms have been spaced out perfectly with a week in between each. Little Sister is going home this weekend, I am pretty jealous but my Fall Break is next weekend so soon enough. Her birthday was in September, but her gift was very belated and it is waiting for her after Mom took it home last weekend. {She used to read this so I don't want to spoil the surprise!} BFF J and I are going to A Taste of Georgetown next weekend! Can't wait! We are finally legal, it will be a gorgeous fall day in DC complete with food and wine. Sounds like an ideal situation to me! I just bought a beautiful new navy blue floral pashmina (a favorite Fall staple of mine) that would look great with brown boots and my JCrew Herringbone jacket. I also need to work on getting a Burberry headband. I have wanted one for so long now. How adorable and great for Fall with a black turtleneck. I love comfy turtlenecks. I have come close to winning a few on Ebay, and I can only find the camel colored one from Nordstrom. I want the classic lighter colored pattern. If anyone knows where I could snag one let me know! Hope everyone is snuggling up for Fall and staying warm!

Happy 50th!

Happy 50th post to me! I never expected to come out of the lurky depths and actually have a blog that people read much less 50 entries! I was sad to see that I lost a follower today, but hopefully will gain some more in the near future. Kind of makes me a little sad, like you lost a friend at the lunch table. But we carry on I suppose.

The weekend was tamer than I expected. The rain put a bit of a damper on things, but I still had a great time with my mom. She had a cold which is pretty common around this time of the year and the rain didnt help. We managed to get do the last bit of decorating/arranging my room, despite me having been in my town house for a little over a month. We had a great reception Friday night at the President's house complete with a couple glasses of great Chardonnay. It was a good feeling to have an answer when some of the deans and administrators asked me what my plans were for after graduation but also brought about that anxious feeling that I have tried so hard to set aside over the past few weeks. Saturday night we went to a great bistro in town with some friends. I had a great salmon dish, which is one of my favorite meals. The rain continued into Sunday but we went to breakfast at the farmer's market up the road. It is the cutest place with pumpkins and a corn maze to get you into the Fall mood.

I got my math exam back today and was pleasantly surprised! I got an 87! I made a few silly errors but I was really worried going into it considering how awful my professor is at times. Today I actually felt like he taught us, which was a nice change of pace.

I wanted to take a moment to thank ParisPink at The Pink Polka Dot for the award she gave me! So thoughtful.

I am required to list 5 current obsessions so here goes!

1.) MAD MEN! - I don't know how I went so long without watching this show, but over the summer I watched Seasons 1 and 2 in a VERY short amount of time. Season 3 is off to a slower start but this show is so addictive! If you don't watch it, you definitely should.

2.) My future - I have a strange habit of checking job search websites and then looking for apartments near said job availabilities and envisioning myself in a few years living the life great urban setting.

3.) Sweaters and scarves - Getting ready to bundle up for the fall!

4.) The Lifestyle section of MSN.com - it has some great articles, recipes, and columns. I could spend hours browsing it if I had that much down time!

5.) The song "For the Nights I Can't Remember" by Hedley. I saw it on Degrassi Goes Hollywood because Yes I am a sucker for that show and I have been listening to the song on repeat for the past 24 hours.

I pass this award to:
Whitney @ Peace, Love, and Big
Princess Freckles @ Her Highness of Cute
Aliya @ The View From My Shoes
dreaming in pink and green

Friday Eve.

*Stole that from Sunshinemeg. I like the sound of that.. much closer to the weekend than Thursday, don't you agree?

Hi Friends! It has been a BUSY week, chock full of meetings, speakers, quizzes, composite pictures, Greek Week events *my FABULOUS sorority is in 1st place!*, but todayyyy.. MY MOM IS COMING! It is Family Weekend here at Small Liberal Arts University in Little Rural Town, PA. Let's try and be more cryptic shall we? I was,however, recently considering divulging a few pictures/details about my life but I am worried that it takes away from my being able to openly express myself. A handful of my friends in real life know that this blog exists but haven't read it. I like having my little space in the Internet world to say whatever comes to mind. But I digress...

So my mom will be here tonight as she is on the Parent's Board here (think college PTA). My dad is on the board as well but he is swamped at work because this is the time of the year where their contracts are up for renewal and since he is in charge he has been working NONSTOP! When I was home last weekend I tried to convince him to come and he asked me if I wanted to continue going shopping, so that was a no brainer! Even though I just saw my mom last weekend I always miss her. We talk literally everyday multiple times a day so it was out of the ordinary that it had been two days without a phone call, but I have just been going nonstop this week. There are many fun things planned for this weekend: dinner at the President's house (I get to drink wine this year finally!!), acapella concert, wine and cheese brunch with my sorority sisters, and I think we are going to a 5k walk for cancer as well. Lots of funnn, pending that I survive my probability exam tomorrow! My professor is just awful. He continues to do examples without giving us the strategies or how to actually DO the problems and he is the most nervous person Ive ever witnessed in the front of the classroom. I am headed up to the library to teach myself all about random variables. Doesnt that sound enjoyable?

Hope Thursday is fab, and Friday + the weekend is even better! xox

All the leaves are {almost} brown.

Happy Fall everyone! I love this time of year so much. While I am a huge fan of the feeling I get laying on a sandy beach with my skin lovingly absorbing the rays, and when my face is that perfect shade of bronze to where I don't have to wear makeup, I also LOOOVEEEE Fall! I love when the leaves start to turn and there is that comforting chill in the air. I live for warm, chunky sweaters. I have huge bins up in our attic to prove my definite slight sweater obsession. This weekend further expanded my sweater collection thanks to my mother and our shopping spree. Gotta love receiving a text from her that says "Can we do some shopping this weekend?" as if I were to EVER refuse an opportunity to spend her money! :) Home was great. My little brother surprised us all and drove down from school in NY for the weekend. All that was missing was my sister, but she's down at school in NC. Brother is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the urban atmosphere of Long Island. He told my mom that he's just simpler than all of that. Our town is by no means rural but we've grown up there and he's had the same group of best guy friends since elementary school. He skipped a grade so he is ahead of them in school so I'm sure it has been REALLY tough for him to go off to college with them all still together at home. I think he is going to stick it out for the year and then transfer somewhere in VA next year. Scary to think that at that point I WILL BE OUT OF COLLEGE! When I was at home I went out to dinner with my parents and one of my best guy friends from high school. He is that guy that every girl has where you walk that fine line of friendly/sexual tension. Our English teacher senior year was convinced that we would end up married, but I really dont think so. I'm sure one day he will realize what he has been missing out on but I dont intend to wait around that long.

In other random thoughts.. I recently read this post from a fellow blogger. Julie used to live pretty close to me at home, though I was bummed to be away at school in PA and still on lurking status when the DC Bloggers had a get together. Hope Pittsburgh is treating you well Julie! This post made me think, in that uncomfortable introspective sort of way. But I think after those sort of self powwows you usually come out better. After a terrible day a few weeks ago which led to a serious chat about the bigger picture with a friend and a 30 minute tear fest with my mom on the phone, I had to come to the uncomfortable realization that I dont have a passion in life. I don't have that hobby or that calling that I get up for in the morning. I don't have any God given talents. I danced for a while, dabbled in piano, cheered in high school, but I feel like those were all just time fillers. I've never had that feeling of knowing that whatever I was doing was that one thing that I was meant to be doing. It worries me to think of a life of just going through the motions. Will I be happy? Said friend has taken it upon himself to ask me daily if I have found the thing that I am passionate about yet. So far, I still don't have an answer. I'm not sure where to go looking to find my passion, but I suspect its something that happens when you least expect it.

Wednesdayyyy.

Hello everyone! The week is half over. I am heading home to Virginia this weekend so 2 more days until I am back below the Mason Dixon Line! Ive been having a strange case of homesickness not to mention I need to get my hair cut so I'm outta PA for a couple days! We had a huge Career Expo on campus today. I had class all day so I could not attend but I think I would have had a minor panic attack had I been able to go. I can't believe that this is my last year of school. It's just so strange to not have a definitive idea of what is next. My parents are empty nesters now that my little brother has left for school and she told me a few weeks ago that she was too lonely and wouldnt let me take the job in NY next summer. I know she is only joking, but I don't know if I am completely ready to be that far from home! I know its only 5 hours but my mom and I are extremely close as you are already aware. I had SO much fun in NY this summer and now that I am LEGALLLL I can only imagine the awesome places I can check out now. Some days I want to stay young forever or go back in time and do it all over again and the other half of me is ready to start my LIFE, ready to take all these life lessons and experiences and put them to good use, to get my mind and body to its healthiest possible place, stop living off of Lean Cuisines and be done with the college lifestyle. And the other part of me is TERRIFIED! Sorry for this mash up of feelings/nonsense. I am surely not going to figure this out tonight, or even tomorrow, and that is all okay with me. Until tomorrow yall! :)

Senior Year Stress!

Oh how I have missed you all! The last 3 weeks have been utter chaos. So let me give you a quick recap to get all caught up and I will do my best at keeping the vanishing acts to a minimum!

*Recruitment was SO tiring but awesome. We have an absolutely fab new member class and everyone is so excited about them!

*My computer crapped out right before I got back here so the Tech Desk had to totally reimage everything, but I was lucky enough to have backed up my data in time so no huge drama there other than 3 weeks without a computer.

*I am SO busy! I live off campus this year so I try to be productive and go to the library between classes and get work done but then unfortunately my days just drag on forever. Yesterday for example, I left my house at 10am, got back after group meetings and Greek Week meetings and such at 7pm, after only consuming cough drops and a turkey sandwich all day.

*My roommate contracted the flu! The health center couldnt tell her one way or the other if it was swine flu, but she went home for a few days and is back now and feeling better. This swine flu really needs to die off soon. My entire campus is paranoid.

*As if I didn't already have enough on my plate, Greek Week is coming up. And logically, the committee heads have finally released the list of events with A WEEK BEFORE! I have to coordinate 150 girls (our chapters are huge because we have a small number of sororities on campus) with 7 days notice, not to mention the forms I received SUNDAY have to be turned in FRIDAY. The great part is that this committee was formed BEFORE WE LEFT FOR SUMMER BREAK! There has been ample time to sort all this out rather than waiting until 7 days before everything is scheduled to start!

I truly have missed my blog! It's been an adjustment going from a summer schedule to a school schedule but I am going to get back in the swing of all this now that my computer is fixed as well! I feel like I have missed out on so much, plus over the 1000 posts in my Google Reader!

Happy Tuesday everyone! xo

So Sorry!

Sorry for my unexpected absence! The last week at home was just crazy with getting my younger siblings off to school and my roommate flew in from California and then moving into my house. BUT I AM FINALLY 21!! Yayyy! My birthday was the best minus the terrible hangover but more on that to follow! I only have about 5 seconds as I have class at 11 but I just wanted everyone to know I am still here!

In need of a preppy gift!

Sophomore year roommate and sorority sister J is a Lilly Pulitzer fanatic! Her entire bedroom/wardrobe/essence is pink and green. Not to mention that she has everything a girl could ever think of wanting. Her birthday was back in June, but she was in Australia at the time so she will be receiving her gift very belated when we get back to school next week. She is starting student teaching shortly and I wanted to get her something practical. I have already decided on an LL Bean tote with her monogram on it. My mom is a teacher so I know that a big carry all tote is essential when grading stacks of homework assignments and bringing them to and from school. I also wanted to get her a name plate for her desk. I don't want to get her a plain executive looking engraved plate because that just doesn't match her personality but I am having trouble finding one of the cute and preppy variety. Has anyone come across any girly desk nameplates? Thanks! xo

Random Smattering

Hello everyone and Happy Friday!! Could it be at all possible that I have morphed into a morning person? I've been up for about an hour, which is mildly unheard of for me. Spent the time doing what else but checking in with all of you and your goings on! Last night I headed up to M&T Bank Stadium for the Battle of the Beltway. Way to drop the ball on this one Redskins, literally AND figuratively. I went with a friend from school (the boy who was going to drive 3 hours but 'doesnt like me like that') and I have decided that I am totally fine being completely platonic with him. I feel like I definitely have the habit of making something out of nothing, and then when I see him I am like Hmm.. what was I thinking? But regardless the game was fun! Note to anyone getting their tickets from StubHub to go to a Ravens game: The ticket office is NOWHERE near the stadium.. guess I should have figured that out before hand!

I WON MY FIRST GIVEAWAY! I am so pumped! I won this print from Sweet Tea Diaries and I have been wanting one for so long! It is going to look so adorable in my new room!

I have been thinking about hosting my own giveaway sometime in the future.. perhaps once I get to 50 followers? I will have to start doing some brainstorming for something extra special for all of you!

A Girl Can Dream, who I have mentioned before, has given me the Butterfly Award! I cannot say enough good things about her as we have a lot in common being Marine Corps children! I do wish, however, that I had an adorable boy toy like hers, but in due time!

This award has zero rules but to pass the love on so I bestow this upon:

Sunshinemeg @ Float On... (This girl is the EPITOME of this award!)
Heather @ Live.Laugh.Love
Wears Inappropriate Shoes

*Happy socializing ladies! :)

As I said earlier this week, I will be heading down to NC help Little Sister A move into her new dorm! She wanted to go to the zoo today so hopefully the heat isnt unbearable! My digital camera is acting up, because when I tried to take a picture from our seats at the game last night it told me I would have to format the chip and erase all my pictures.. ugh! Hopefully I will get it fixed and be able to share some pictures from the weekend! Wishing you all a relaxing and fun filled August weekend!

Home Sweet Home!

I FORGOT HOW MUCH HUMIDITY AND I DO NOT GET ALONG! My hair is in shock mode and it is not pleased. This heatwave is outrageousss! But I think it beats the rain that has been plaguing us for the past few months!

I AM HOOMMEEEEEE!!! I need to adjust my schedule now that I dont have a cubicle to sit in and write my insightful, thought provoking posts. Ha! ;) It's good to be back for these next two weeks. Just enough time to catch up with friends without getting restless. And then it is on to SENIOR YEAR! WHAT! Is it just me or did college go by at lightning speed compared to those angst filled years of high school? I can't believe it. And even more I cant believe that this year my siblings and I are ALL in college. Little Brother left on Sunday to head up to NY to try and earn a walk on spot on the soccer team at his school. I know he is skilled enough to make it but he loses his head sometimes so if he can just stay calm I think it will all work out. Little Sister heads down to NC this weekend and the parents and I are going down with her to get in some quality beach/golf/shopping time. I have only been down there once so I am excited to see it! The campus is beautiful from what I remember. She is moving into a BRAND NEW suite style dorm complex. Her birthday is soon after mine so I am already scheming to find someting really cute for her. Little Sister is the absolute opposite of me. She never asks for anything and I am always in need/want of something new. My mother practically has to beg her to go shopping. So I want to do something fun for her birthday.

Stopped at my townhouse in PA on my way home from NY and I cant wait til the roommates and I are all moved in. My birthday is going to be a great way to break in ALL of our glasswear! I ended up getting the navy and white duvet cover from my previous post and it is adorable! I wanted to get yellow sheets but I cannot tell you what I hard time I have had finding some. Target and Bed Bath and Beyond were both busts. I needed a desk for my bedroom as I am not the kind of person who can sit in bed and do work because I WILL fall asleep. Mom, Sister, and I went over to a consignment shop in town and there was a cute little sewing table for $62! If you open it there is the space where the sewing machine used to sit but I will just keep the wood flaps closed and set my laptop on it. It matches the rest of the room pretty well and I will only need it for a year so it will work perfectly.

My swap partner received her gift!! I am SO relieved because I was not thinking and didnt make an account so I was never sent a shipping notification and I wont make that mistake ever again! Leslie, it has been such a blast getting to know you and I hope you love your goodies and that our e-friendship continues! :)

I think I am heading into DC to see a movie with a friend from school that is interning up there. It will be good to be back in MY city! Ciao loves!

And so it goes.

Happy Friday ladies! We made it through another week and I made it through my summer internship. Had a chat with my boss yesterday afternoon to thank him for the great experience and for teaching me so much about this industry and reminding me what it feels like to have someone tell you you're doing a good job. He told me that they have had interns every summer the past 10 years or so and that I impressed him the most. He appreciated my independence and he knew that whatever he threw at me I would be quick to pick up and that was impressive. I told him that if next year after graduation the timing is right that I would absolutely come work for him and he said that barring any unforseen situations such as him dying (he always mentions this as we work on retirement plans) or business going badly that he would love for me to come back. I know that I complained a bit early on about the size of the firm but when I really thought about it, I don't know if I would be able prepared to jump right into the corporate world from my small liberal arts university in Tiny Rural Town, USA. I think the atmosphere here is perfect for me to learn at the entry level. I told him I would be in touch over the year to come and he said that if something else were to come along that I am in no way bound to come back here. So it really is the best possible scenario I could ask for! Thank you all for your well wishes and encouragement!

And on to good news update numero dos. The date went really well. We had SO much in common, the conversation was easy and natural, he had just the same bit of sarcasm as I did and we fed well off each other. We went to a new organic Italian cafe and got a really nice cheese and fruit spread for an appetizer. I had a delicious vegetarian lasagna and he had a risotto that he wasnt terribly fond of. He has traveled a lot which is something I definitely appreciate. It was a great way to spend my last night in New York, but I don't really see anything else coming of it. I am going back to college, he lives in the city, so the timing is pretty off. But all in all a very pleasant evening. Who knows if something will come of it in the future.

I cant even comprehend how quickly this summer went by. It has been one for the books though that is for sure. I guess you could say I came, I saw, I conquered. And by conquered that would be my fear of the NYC subway system. I'll be heading home to VA tomorrow for a 2 weeks and then back up to school to get into sorority rush mode. And then my very special exciting birthday will be happening!

Here's to fabulous weekends all around.. Enjoy yourselves! xo

All smiles!

Man oh man, I cannot tell you the last time I was this giddy! Bar Boy #2 is already LIGHTYEARS ahead of Bar Boy #1, not that it was a hard task considering the source. I texted him yesterday evening to see what he had in mind for tonight. He responded that he had just been thinking about me (cue heart melting) and that it was up to me either dinner or just drinks. I chose dinner and he is picking a place and letting me know today. He called me and we talked for about 20 minutes. It was so easy and we both have the same sarcasm and sense of humor, which is pretty unheard of because my humor can often be a bit dry and misinterpreted. Where was he 2 months ago when I first got to New York?! And what in the world am I going to wear tonight...

Expect a post date wrap up later tonight/tomorrow!!

Nothing much to say today.

I have little to no words.. That never happens to me. But I did get the Honest Scrap Award from A Girl Can Dream. She's fab if you haven't already stumbled across her blog you should make your way over. I got this award a little while back and had been thinking I wanted to do a re-do since my first answers were super lame. I had all these great things to say about myself, and now I can't think of what they were. But alas... here goes.

1. Growing up I would always see how long I could go without wearing the same outfit to school twice. I played that little game with myself this summer with my internship wardrobe and I won.

2. I like to plan things way ahead of time. The only problem with this is that I have a problem with follow through. I think I am getting better though.

3. I've only ever said "I love you" to one boy, and I am sure that it was just friend love as I was only 14. I don't know what being in love feels like yet but I am looking forward to it.

4. All but 1 college I applied to had orange as one of its school colors.

5. I am SO not a morning person, much more of a night owl but for whatever reason all summer I have been waking up at 6:40, going back to sleep, then waking up with my alarm at 7:30.

6. I am pretty much a chicken and fish girl only. I've never had that desire for a big steak dinner.

7. I've never had a real pet. Hermit crabs, fish, a hamster that drowned, but no dogs or cats.

8. I absolutely abhor feet. I cringe whenever anyone's feet brush up against me. I worked in a nail salon for 2 years as a receptionist and I would have to fill the pedicure tubs with people's feet in my face. It was torture. But I got free manis and pedis!!

9. Love purses/tote bags. Have too many, even though I can only use one at a time, I am always on the lookout for new ones.

10. In 45 minutes I will be off of work!

I am not this boring I swear.. I just never have anything good to say about myself when I am on the spot!

Happy Wednesday everyone. After today we are on smooth sailing to the weekend. My stomach is already in knots over tomorrow's date. I am going to try and breathe easy and just be myself.. it worked the first time around right?! :)

AH!

Got a text from Bar Boy #2 last night! I think I am more nervous now because I had totally rationalized it in my head that I wouldnt hear from him since I am only here for 4 more days. He suggested drinks on Thursday so there will be a story (lets hope for a good one this time!!) on Friday. I am so not this girl, so I am having a minor freak out. When I was in 6th grade my crush, well everyone had a crush on this boy at the time, told me that I wasn't girlfriend material and I don't think that you ever get over that sort of emotional trauma from your formative years. I spent high school in everyone's friend zone it seemed. If I heard one more "Why can't I date a girl like you?" or "Just wait for the right one to come along" I was going to lose it. You can't get more of a girl like me other than me genius. I've never been one to put my feelings out there for fear of getting hurt, which ultimately led to the "I didnt know you liked me because I liked you too" saga. Glad high school is behind me. I know this is overanalyzation at its best, and my fingers just got away from me and spewed all that out. It's just a drink. Breathe in and out.

Thank you for all the well wishes on the job. I am trying to balance on that thin line of being passive and aggressive. Do I say anything to my boss? Do I wait for him to suggest it? How do I let him know that if he were to offer me a position I would take it? I don't know how to navigate this!

Lighting Strikes

Oh, Monday... Today is my last Monday of my internship! Everyone please cross their fingers that my boss offers me a job at the end of the week. I really think that the environment here would be great to learn at the entry level and it would be a weight off of my shoulders going into senior year. If the speed at which this summer flew by is any indication of how fast my last year of college is going to go, I think I might start crying. I LOVE my university. It has been everything I could have dreamed of over the past four years and my mom put best yesterday when she said she couldn't even begin to imagine me having gone to a different school. I visited for the first time my sophomore year of high school and knew from the second I stepped on campus that this was it. I haven't regretted it since and I am NOT looking forward to leaving just yet.

Had a fairly quiet last weekend. Friday I came home from work and did ABSOLUTELY nothing. It was perfect. Saturday headed into NYC to meet an SS (sorority sister) for the day. We got a quick lunch and headed down to SoHo. I'm glad we went because that was one of the things I had yet to experience this summer. There were such adorable shops. I got a dress for my birthday, which is three weeks from today! :) Even though I will be spending my big day in Small Town, PA at the bar with the local townspeople, I felt the need to get a pretty dress, and it was on SALE! There is a layer of tulle that I think I will have removed because I feel like it makes me look a little to much like a cupcake. Yesterday it was rainy, surprise surprise. I managed to force myself out into the rain to head to Best Buy because I think my laptop is reaching the end of its life and I wanted to backup my files before something catastrophic happens. Stopped at TJMaxx on the way back, and they really had nothing good. Picked up some notecards and a mug, and a new hair straightener. The switch broke off of my hot pink CHI so I needed a temporary until I can get a new one.

Hope everyone had a relaxing and enjoyable weekend and that your weeks are already off to a great start!

PS. Someone pleeease buy my Blackberry!!

Blog Sale!

What a lazy Sunday.. the weather is quite gloomy and I am planning to stay in my PJs all day! Just wanted to mention this before I post in on eBay! I have a Blackberry Curve 8300 that needs a new home. It is in great condition. I have only had it since January, and have been quite careful with it. No scratches or anything. I have a wall charger, car charger, and a clear plastic silicone case. These items can all be yours for $100! It is an AT&T phone, but I believe that it can also be used on the T-Mobile network. Sorry to those with Verizon! If anyone is interested, leave a comment here or you can email me at chelleybelle3@hotmail.com

Horrible, No Good, VERY Bad!

Oh girls.. Let me just tell you about my terrible date with Boy from the Bar. I should have known it was going to be less than stellar but I had NO idea of the terrible turns it was going to take. Let me preface by saying that I have never done this before.. We dont have a lot of bars in my small Virginian town so my history with meeting guys has been through a friend or something of that sort, and no one goes on traditional dates in college.. at least not at mine. So this was pretty much a first for me. I sat at the bar, started chatting with him last weekend and he says "Give me your number, I WANT TO TAKE YOU OUT." Hold on to that little tidbit for a moment.

He wanted to go to a night club. Strike 1. I dont have any desire to submerse myself in a huge crowd of sweaty gyrating people so I quickly dismiss this. There's a sushi place that I went to last summer that Ive really been wanting to go back to so I suggest that. I mention that there is other food besides sushi, but he asks IF HE CAN GET A CHEESEBURGER when we sit down. Obviously if it is a sushi buffet, there will be other JAPANESE food, not food you can go snag quickly from McDonalds. This was Strike 3 because if you remember, the Facebook poke was Strike 2.

Brace yourselves for what happened next. In a joking way he says "So youre paying for both of us right?" And I was like "Hm.. nope" and he says "Well I would rather not pay for your dinner." Girls... my jaw hit the floor. I begin to get sort of hostile and bitchy watching him eat with his hand in a fist clenched tightly around his fork. He wasnt sure if he had ever had shrimp before.. and didnt know what to do with the tail. I then had to coach him through how to eat a spare rib. I suggest that he tries some sushi and he tells me he already has. No genius, thats SHRIMP. He admits that he mixed up the S words.

He goes back to the buffet and gets some sushi and then UNROLLS IT WITH HIS HANDS, asks me if he is supposed to eat the seaweed and I can feel my skin begin to crawl. I immediately tell him that I dont think I will be able to make the movie as I have to go into work earlier than I expected tomorrow, or some combination of BS. He keeps asking if he did anything or said something and I very calmly say "I would suggest next time maybe not to lead with telling a girl you would rather not pay for your dinner." He then says that this is just to test out the waters, he pays on the second date and assures me that HE IS NOT CHEAP. Oh, that makes sense. Before I could even think the words "AND THE GIRLS COME BACK?!" quickly escaped my mouth. He assures me that they do.

I was just really irritated. And I'm not the kind of girl that expects men to just fall at her feet and do everything for her. I am VERY independent and my mom tells me that it can often ward off guys who are looking for the insecure, clingy type. But I do feel that if you ask a girl out, you pay for her dinner. I don't think I am so wrong in that. Granted I suggested the restaurant, but he wasn't putting in any other feedback and he agreed that we could go there. It was clear that we just didnt have much in common. Different backgrounds and different interests, but live and learn right?

*On a better note, after I left ran away I met my cousin at a bar for a drink to calm myself down. I was heading to the bathroom when this guy comes out of the women's bathroom and warns me that someone spilt a drink all over the floor in there. Not his fault that he was in the wrong restroom, the sign was confusing. We chat for a bit, I tell him about my terrible night and he tells me he's going to take me out AND pay for my dinner. He's calling me today! :-D

Happy Friday Lovelies!!! Sorry for the rant... Am I wrong in my thinking? Please do tell!

One more thing.

The always fabulous Mrs. Newlywed is hosting a great giveaway. Check it out!

Happy Hump Day!

This post is going to be a mish mash of a lot of things... So I think a list will do the trick.

*It's Wednesday.. so I officially have a week and a half left of my internship. Summer flewwww by. Just a few more weeks until I am reunited with all my friends who were abroad last semester and starting senior year of with a bang.

*Going out with boy from the bar tomorrow. He poked me on Facebook. I don't know if I like that. I'm sure there will be stories to follow.

*Finished up Chasing Harry Winston and I was pretty disappointed in the ending. I know that things cant go on forever but I always feel left hanging when books and movies just sort of stop. I have now started reading Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster and she is so unbelievably funny. I was cracking up last night on the bike at the gym.

*Anyone else a Bachelorette fan? I personally loved Ed. I think he is so cute and funny and I think they will actually work out unlike so many of the previous couples. Did anyone else think that Reid was being sort of rude? He had his opportunity and he left. I think his expectations of her just melting into his arms were unrealistic. But then again.. nothing like a 6 week whirlind romance puts the reality in Reality TV.

*I am well on my way to finishing up the second season of Mad Men before season 3 begins on August 16th. This show is just too good.. if you arent watching you are definitely missing out.

*I am participating in my first swap! I have the pleasure of being paired with a great woman and fellow Virginian. I hope she enjoys the goodies I picked out for her!

*It is raining. No surprise there. I'm making a grilled cheese sandwich because I have zero food here and there's little point to going to the grocery store when Im only here for another week and a half. And then I will settle in for some Mad Men. Don Draper is beyond beautiful.

Cheers to the week being half over. Hope its been a great one!

Weekend Recap!

Had a very productive and enjoyable weekend as my time in Nueva York is winding down. Where did this summer go?! Can't say it was much in the weather department as we have been plagued with terrible weather and as a result my skin is less than bronzed. Friday night went to a birthday get together for a friend of my roommate L. She actually went to my university freshman year and then transferred. Wish I had known her while I was there because she was really fun and easy going. From there L, her friend from high school, and myself headed out to see The Ugly Truth. It was HYSTERICAL! Predictable yes, as I am sure we all could tell from the previews what the plot was but Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler were great together.. not to mention he is absolutely gorgeous. When we got out of the movie we were greeted by a torrential down pour of rain and the unfortunate realization that we parked in the very BACK of the parking lot. Needless to say we were soaked.

Saturday I did some laundry, and headed over t0 the mall to meet one of my sorority sisters who just graduated. It was really great to see her and who doesnt love shopping! I picked out the watch that I will hopefully be getting for my birthday from my parents (28 days!).

**LOVE IT!

I cashed in my gift cards and got my Raybans! I love them.. their look is so classic. Stopped into J.Crack for a bit.. got some tortoise hair clips and cute headband. And from there headed to Anthropologie. I could seriously live in that store. I want my future fantasy apartment to contain everything from that store. I tried on a ton of dresses as I have a wedding reception to attend for a high school friend in a few weeks. I would have bought them all but that would have been extreme. I purchased this one...

It is adorable, but I am not completely sold on wearing it to this event. I havent seen a lot of the people attending since we graduated high school so I want to make sure I look my best. The dress will get plenty of use with back to school sorority events and such.

After the mall I headed into NYC. To contribute to the checking off of my To-Do List, my cousin and I walked around Central Park (check) for a little bit. I saw the cutest couple taking wedding pictures.. and was abruptly reminded of my own singleness. From there, we headed to the Metropolitan Museum of Art (check). The artwork was beautiful and the roof top bar wasn't bad either! :) From there we headed to dinner, and eventually to a bar. I ended up talking to this nice guy who wants to take me out next weekend and who am I to deny him that. Crappy timing seeing as how my internship is winding down. If youve been reading previously, you know about the prior boy saga... it was nice to have someone be interested and give compliments, even if nothing comes of it. And maybe I realized the next day via Facebook that he wasnt as cute as I thought while in my wine/sangria/mojito haze. But thats neither here nor there.

My cousin had the genius idea for us to get pizza at 4am and go sit on the quad at Columbia. The campus was gorgeous even in the middle of the night. Suddenly, it started to rain. It really was like a scene out of a movie. We were running around like crazies getting completely soaked but in a strange way it was calming. It was the happiest I had been in weeks without getting strangely emotional. I think for whatever reason in that moment I realized how much this summer had changed me. And it made me very excited to see what the future has in store.

OH MY GOSH!!!

THIS just made my day, or perhaps, my entire life!

FEELING THE 'LOVE'
Flashing her signature smile, Julia Roberts exits her trailer on the New York set of Eat, Pray, Love, her new film based on Elizabeth Gilbert's bestselling memoir. Costarring Javier Bardem (not pictured), the film is slated for a 2011 release.

Am I the last person on Earth to hear about this? I LOVED Eat, Pray, Love. I don't know if I can wait until 2011 for this to come out! Ahh!

SWAP!

JGIWC is hosting a monogram swap! Head over and leave her a comment by noon today (Friday) if you want to join in the fun!

I might have a problem..

Boy do I love me some online shopping. It truly is the best of both worlds... Getting mail AND getting new things! Genius I say! Well, about a month ago I posted about an early birthday present from my lovely mother. I had ordered this bag...

Isn't she prretttyyyy?! Not to mention the fantastic quality of this picture from my new Blackberry 8900. Take that iPhone! Haha. Well, you would not believe the headache that I had to endure to finally get this bag. The company I ordered it from has been my go to vendor for 2 of my other 3 Longchamp totes. Never had a problem.. until now. About a week and a half had passed when I realized I had not even received an email with a UPS tracking number like they said I would. So I called the store, and the woman tells me "We had been trying to call you for a while.. the peony tote is out of stock so if you pick another color we can have it embossed and ship it out to you." Hmm... A. She had not been calling as my cell phone number was entered when I purchased the bag online and B. my credit card had already been charged. So she checks again and gets on the line and says "We have it in our files that UPS delivered the package to you on this date. It was left outside your door." Nope.. that never happened. So she checks her records again, gets back on the line and says "Oops.. we mailed it to the wrong house number. That person must have it." Okay I could understand the mistake if she was going off of a handwritten order, but the address was TYPED clear as day so this really should not have happened. I had to leave the little old man who lives at that address a note only to find out he took the package up to the condo office. But after all that mess, I finally got the bag. I still feel like I should call the company and ask for a discount on my next purchase, if there is one.

And to add to the excitement, I just got a $100 gift card in the mail for Sunglasses Hut after cashing in some of my credit card points. Hello new Raybans! I have been loving the classic look of the Wayfarers for a while so they will soon be mine! Yesterday HB&HB did a quick post about the Tory Burch Private Sale and before I knew what I was doing I had ordered this...

I know that I have a very skewed perception of the difference between want and need but a $275 wallet for $82.. I am pretty sure I NEEDED it.

Thank goodness its Friday! This week has certainly been dragging along.

P.S. My birthday is a month from today! I am slowly formulating the list of things that I might need/want!

Just one of those days...

My apologies for my near week long hiatus. I have been in the midst of a mini life rut as I like to call them. Nothing big, just think that spending the summer away from home and friends is starting to wear on me a little bit.

Went up to move the couches into my town house with roommate L this weekend. Everything is really coming together and I think we will have the cutest house on the block come August. I've still got some great ideas for cute decorations and just making everything cohesive. I want it to be the antithesis of college living.. you know the random patio chairs in the dining room and things of that sort.

If youve been reading you know of the boy who was going to come visit but didnt etc etc etc.. well without beating that story into the ground, lets just say that I saw him this past weekend and he still is one of the most difficult people to understand that I have EVER encountered in my life. I need to move on.. anyone know any eligible bachelors because I know that until there is someone else to focus my energy on I am still going to be caught up in this mess.

I know that our girlfriends are our sounding boards for the good things and the bad. We want them to congratulate us on the good and mend our broken hearts after the bad. This past week during said life rut I have felt like my friends, well two specific ones, have been in competition mode. I know I am the first one to want to brag about something I have accomplished but I think that timing is really key. No, I don't want to hear about how your most recent guy told you he loved you and you said it back while I am in the midst of my life rut. I am ALWAYS the emotional cheerleader and this week I was just at my fill. I, of course, told her how I happy I was for her but it didnt take away from the feeling that she was throwing it in my face. Or perhaps I am just overly sensitive due to it being that dreaded time of the month.

Work has been good this week.. my boss is giving me more things to do because he says I am picking it all up pretty quickly. I am SO glad that I have enjoyed what I am doing this summer and also that I am good at it. My boss is well known and respected in this field so to have his approval is huge to me. Yesterday I began working on designing a pension plan for a home healthcare aid agency. And while it takes a bit to get all the pieces together, when it finally works out its such a feeling of accomplishment. That's my science brain speaking.. I really do love a good puzzle!

On to more fun things... I know a lot of you are absolute geniuses when it homes to home decor. The couches that my parents so lovingly gave us are sort of an olive green color. We have a couch, love seat, and oversized chair so right now the room sort of looks like it is overflowing with green. Is there any way I could liven up the room without having to go to far into the earth tones for accent pillows and such? It is a bright room so I dont want the furniture to bring it down. Any suggestions would be more than appreciated! :)

*I would say the color is pretty close to this picture.

Hope your weeks have been going well.. its almost Fridayyyy!! Roommate L and I are going out for some sushi and a movie, The Ugly Truth with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. Looks like it will be funny!

Giveaway Alert!

Diamonds, Pearls, and A 'Southern Girl' is hosting a fabulous giveaway! The winner will be able to pick their choice from the A.Tierney bangles. I happen to adore A.Tierney. They have a vendor come to my school once or twice a semester and I love the watch that I purchased from them last year. You can get different ribbon bands for it and it is so easy to change and customize with different outfits. Wanted to share this with all of you although I would much rather keep it to myself so I had a better chance to win!

HAPPY FRIDAYYYY!!! Even though I was off Monday since I was traveling back from home, this week has certainly drug on. Tonight I am headed to PA to meet my parents and move some furniture into my town house! My little brother just graduated from high school so with their three children being off at college next year, they have decided that they need all new furniture.. Hmm.. But I wont complain as we now have great living room furniture as opposed to those hand-me-down frat couches that so many college apartments have. Roommate L will be coming out tomorrow with her madre so she can move in her bedroom furniture. I am thinking about going with a navy blue and hot pink feel for my room.. How do you girls feel about this duvet cover?

It is hard to tell from this picture but it is navy blue with big white poppies. I was thinking with pink shams and sheets it would be nice and bright.

One other question, I LOOOVEEEE my ruffle neck tissue tee from JCrew (I might need to start calling it JCrack as some of you bloggers have so appropriately done). I have been washing it on gentle but the neck is still seeming to unravel a bit. Is anyone else having that problem as well?

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! xo