Tell Me What You Like About Yourself

Such a dreaded question. I kind of cringed even typing it out, but that is what was asked of me last night. And I really am not sure how to answer it. Then she asked me what my friends would say about me, and when I said I wish I knew she suggested I ask. So there you have it, my therapy homework assignment. So I awkwardly went about asking my besties "Why are you my friend?" The thing that hurt me the most was when I talked to my mom she said "Well don't put down that you're a good sister." I know that my siblings and I have gotten in arguments over the years. WHO HASN'T?! I think my sister has this unattainable idea of us frolicking through the pansies together and never fighting. That's called unrealistic. We are too close in age, too alike, while also being too different to get along perfectly all the time. And that's completely boring anyways. A lot of you have been saying that I shouldn't be so hard on myself but I've always been my toughest critic. I would cry in second grade when I didn't finish my timed multiplication quizzes. I had to do everything right all. the. time. And as you can see, a lot of that self criticism comes from the criticism from my mother.  I know she knows a lot about me and that she doesn't sugar coat things, but that doesn't stop her words from stinging every now and again. So I decided that I will be putting on my list, along with whatever else I come up with between now and next week, that I am the sister I know how to be, and that's the best I can do.

ETA: This blog will not be turning into a self help column, that I can promise and assure you.

Today.

I dont really know what I thought I would gain out of writing this blog, but I can assure you that it was never support from people that I had never, and possibly would never meet. Thank you for the kind words on my last post. Tonight is my second session with my therapist and I really think that this is going to be a positive step for me. As crazy as it my sound, I can already tell that I am thinking and feeling more and asking those tough questions that need to be asked of yourself during a time like this. How did I get here? Where am I going to go from here? I think I have been hovering over the possibility of what this blog can be, and quite possibly who I can be. I don't know that I have been my true authentic self on here and I think if I let the walls down, this could actually be a great vehicle on my path to wherever it is that I am going. So today, not sure why today, but I want to rip off the blogging band-aid and just be me. So this is me.

Been There Before

Happy Fall everyone! Work has been absolutely intense the past week and a half so that explains my lack of posting/apartment photos/existence.

I can honestly say that I have never been more glad to NOT share photos of myself with you all. I feel absolutely awful about my general appearance and being right now. The scale and I have become mortal enemies, my skin is rebelling against me in a serious way, and things are just not looking up. After graduation, I came home for three months before starting the job that I thought I had lost and I THOUGHT I had a plan. I was going to get myself together, start living healthier, study for this preliminary exam I had in August, and for once prioritize myself. Fast forward to the end of September and while I may have a job and an apartment, I feel like I'm just sort of coasting through this life as opposed to actually being an active participant in it. I was feeling a lot of this before the move, looking into therapists/life coaches/anyone with a magic wand who could set me on the right road, but once I got the job I figured everything would magically be better. That of course would have been way too easy. I'm not terribly sure where this post is heading, but I just know I needed to get it all out. And after all, this is the place for me to do that right? I am no stranger to therapy and I feel like we would all be better off if we had a neutral party to talk to about all of life's little stumbles. I know in the end, I will be fine, but I think I have reached that point where things can't be put off anymore. I don't know what it feels like to not be worried about that extra 20 pounds or stressing because I waited until the last minute to finish an assignment or study for an exam. I feel like I have built my whole world about being uncomfortable, not necessarily unhappy, because I am too scared to succeed in the end. 

Thursday = almost Friday!

Hello friends, lovely to see you all! This weather has been just lovely the past few days. I was glad that it wasn't too hot for move-in day as I have acquired SO MUCH STUFF over the last few years. Good thing I have an exorbitant amount of closet space! The move in was successful! Picture tour to come as well as some requests for advice since I only really have experience decorating a dorm room. I am just about settled, only a few things I still need: window coverings for my one huge window, something slight to break up the monotonous white wall. My view is great and I have lots of sunlight so I don't want to lose any of that. I have more space than I thought and am in search of a small 3 or 4 piece dining room table set. Also some sort of large painting or mural because I have a huge empty wall above my couch. One wall is going to become a gallery wall, which I will undoubtedly be scouring the InterWebs for advice on.

Labor Day I met up with two of my favorite girls and we had a picnic in Central Park. It was fun, relaxing, and a perfect way to spend our day off. The train must have known my excitement to get into the city because it was moving at lightning speeds. 

In honor of it being Thursday... and my bathroom being a certain two colors... I wanted to share some pictures! Forgive the quality I snapped them pretty quickly on my BlackBerry!

 My lovely shower curtain! It just puts me in a good mood since the colors are so bright! Gotta love Target! ;)

This was my first (and only) win on a blog giveaway from the fabulous Sweet Tea Diaries! I like to think that I had this before the masses. When my mom and I were out last weekend it was plastered on everything... pillows, trays, etc.

Finally, while it may not be pink and green, it is so very me! I love anything with M's on it and had to be very careful not to go overboard! There will be a few more scattered around the apartment, so tune in! Also, as I sit at my desk at work there are three monogrammed items in my view. My co-worker has asked me if I have an identity crisis. ;)

 I also have pink and green hand towels, as well as green bath mats but these pictures were taken before all the finishing touches. Hope you all have wonderful weekends!

Sharing for 100!

Hello lovelies and Happy Wednesday! I am getting sick which is just wonderful at a time like this. I shouldn't be surprised because this is my annual sick time. For the past few years I have been sick for sorority recruitment which is going on right now. I think being sick in the summer is worse than being sick in the winter. All I want right now is soup.... and its way too hot outside for that. It is going to be 97 degrees out today.. OUCH!

THIS IS MY 100TH POST! Yayyyy! I really cannot believe that anyone even reads this little old thing... especially since I rarely post photos. I feel like there are very few blogs that attract a lot of readers where the author doesn't reveal themselves, but I am going to try and let you in on my new life as best as I can while still trying to remain pretty anonymous. In doing so, here are my answers to a recent tag. Positively Preppy in Pink

 (who is an absolute sweetheart and who I will be living vicariously through as she enjoys Fall in our nation's capital) tagged me with this Q&A.

What’s your signature color? I love love love pink as far as accessories are concerned. My room in my townhouse at college was pink and blue. However, for clothing I would have to say that I own A LOT of navy blue pieces. I am wearing my favorite dress today and it is navy blue with a ruffled neckline. It is so comfortable and definitely a go to dress. But navy and pink are definitely my two favorite colors.

What’s your most embarrassing moment? While I had many an embarrassing moment during college, the moment that always sticks out as the most tragic and scarring to me is when I was in a musical in 5th grade. It was all about jazz music and I was supposed to quick change from a kid into Ella Fitzgerald. I had to run off stage, pull on a skirt and come back out. The skirt got all twisted and I couldn't walk so I hobbled out on stage and took the skirt off. I had shorts on underneath so I wasn't revealing anything but the audience started to applaud, they thought it was part of the play. I started to sob uncontrollably and my music teacher had to say the rest of my lines. Needless to say, any sort of musical theater was NEVER my thing.

Would you ever get anything besides your ears pierced? No way. I have my ear lobes and cartilage pierced but my ears are where it ends. I never ever wanted to get my navel pierced when that was all the rage, I think it looks really strange. No thank you to eyebrows, lips, tongues, or noses. There are definitely people who can pull off the facial piercings but I do not happen to be one of them. I do, however, have a small tattoo on my left hip. I am assuming there will be a collective gasp at this point ;)

Are you a social butterfly or a homebody? I would say a hybrid of the two. I really enjoy going out and meeting new people. A room of strangers really excites me because you never know who you will meet and I have no problem striking up a conversation. My 6th grade teacher told me that I would talk to my locker even if it doesn't respond. However, I enjoy a lazy day at home just as much as the next person... usually accompanied by a tall order of reality shows.

SKIPPING THE QUESTION ABOUT BABIES!  

Are you loyal to your hairstylist or do you try every salon in town? VERY loyal... I am very particular about how my hair is done so it takes me a while to train a new hairstylist. I think I was more torn up about leaving her than leaving my parents... kidding. But it is going to take me a while to find someone new up here. In the mean time, I plan on going home to have her style my hair. Gotta do what you gotta do!

How many times have you moved in your life? If there was ever a question for me to answer this would be it... So here we go. Including this last move and going to college in Smalltown, PA I have moved 7 times. My dad was in the military so we moved around a lot during my childhood. When I was younger I wasn't able to appreciate it but now that I am older I know that moving around a lot has made me more capable to adapt to new situations and surroundings. 

If you could plan a vacation with just you and your love, where would it be? Since there is no "love" presently, hypothetically speaking I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to go to Greece for my honeymoon someday. It looks absolutely beautiful and so romantic! 

Well there you have it! Hope you were able to learn a little more about me through this post!