Bad Romance

*Currently loving that song... GaGa is a freak and I don't understand her but her music is great! If you haven't already, listen to her song Speechless. She wrote it for her dad and it is absolutely FABULOUS!

I am still here.. although just barely. My apologies for the recent abandonment. My life has been going non stop and I dont think I will be able to breathe until this time next week when I am at home for 5 WHOLE WEEKS! Cannot wait. I am just about done with 2 of my 4 classes. I have a final Friday and one next Tuesday. After I hit publish on here I am hightailing it to the library. That place really sucks the life out of me but I wont get work done otherwise so I am pushing through!

Hanukkah starts tonight at sundown! We have become very lax the last 5 or so years with the holidays. We haven't been lighting the candles and we haven't gotten a Christmas tree (my religious status in a future, possibly controversial post). This year with all of us being at college until next week I wonder what my parents will do. I know they are getting antsy for us to come home.

MUST GET TO STUDYING THEORY OF COMPUTATION! Doesnt that name just sound vile? It is every bit as awful as its name. But next week I am a SECOND SEMESTER SENIOR! My goodness how time flies. My professor for this class is retiring after this semester and he was joking about how time is not linear, and I couldnt agree with you more. My life is definitely on an exponential incline, going faster than I would have ever liked or imagined!

Happy finals to those of you still in school and Happy Holidays to all!

Tomorrowww!

Ah yes! This time tomorrow I will have turned in my accounting assignment and be on my way home. I think as I've gotten older I really have just treasured good family and friends even more. I just saw my mom on Monday as she stopped for dinner after the closing on the sale of my grandparents' condo in NY (which warrants its own post soon) but I still feel like its been ages. She wants to get the whole family together and go see The Blind Side over break which I am SO excited about. Everyone has been giving it great reviews and as much as Sandra Bullock irks me, I feel like her performance will be stellar. I think Sister and Brother (17 and 19) would rather die than have a family outing but hopefully they play along. We are a very close family emotionally, but we don't spend a lot of time together physically if that makes sense at all. We were all hyper involved high school students and with both of our parents working, I can recall very few family dinners in my teenage years. I don't think it makes us any less of a good family we are just busy people!

To recap (since I haven't posted in over a week) this past weekend was our Fall formals! I had SO much fun. Best date, best venue of all of our formals. Last Spring was an epic disaster as my date proceeded to black out and ask me to point out all of my single friends. I didn't intend for anything to happen between us past that night but I invited him, and he should have been more respectful than that. But my date this time around was great! One of his fraternity brothers drank a bit too much so he was a good friend and took him home so our night was cut a bit short but it was a lot of fun. Saturday roommate L and I just lounged about and watched some movies. I HAD NEVER SEEN LOVE ACTUALLY IN ITS ENTIRETY! I know I know shame on me! I liked it. But it's also one of those movies that highlights my loneliness and thats never the best feeling. We also watched The Brothers Bloom with Rachel Weisz and Adrien Brody. It was hard to get into at first but it had a good message.

Later on circa 2:30 am, I received a text message from friend boy (couldn't think of a better name so I stole this title from PSP). We've had this toxic sorted past (on my end, I'm sure he hasn't got a clue how difficult he is to figure out) for a while now and I've discussed him before. Just when I think I've finally gotten over it, I'm right back at square one. He just wanted to cuddle and it was a pretty cold night and I'm not one to turn down cuddling, but this limbo is just no good. Do people make Thanksgiving Resolutions? Because getting out of this situation needs to be mine.

I have class tomorrow morning from 8-930am and then I am out of here! I have a hair appointment at 2 so I have literally 4.5 hours to get home. I've made the trip in 3.5 before and there shouldn't be any traffic so hopefully I am okay. Probably going to go out with some friends tomorrow night. We are all finally 21 as I was the last of the crowd to have my birthday and a night out is going to be a big change for us since up until now we would just sit around and have some beers in someone's basement. Goodbye house parties, hello society!

Hope everyone has fantastic Thanksgivings! Bring on the green bean casserole, my favorite!

Today is Me Day

The Holiday is probably one of my absolute favorite movies. As Ive already mentioned, I love quotes and this movie has no shortage of meaningful lines that really cut to my core. I've been there and I think we've all been there. This line in particular highlights exactly how I am feeling today...

This - This twisted, toxic THING between us, is finally finished! I'm miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I've got a life to start living.

I finally got it. I definitely wasn't in love, but I have spent far too much time and effort on this person. I can't make him see me in a way that he doesn't want to. At the end of the day it truly is his loss.

For this reason, today has been declared Me Day! I'm blowing off my classes (maybe not the brightest thing to do as I will have some catching up to do on Monday) and just lounging about. A Lot Like Love is on, with Amanda Peet and Ashton Kutcher. I absolutely adore this movie, but I feel like not many people have seen it. It came out in 2005 and its just adorable. Boy and girl randomly meet, and for years come in and out of each other's lives but the timing is never right. I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

I could REALLY use one of these right now. It's so chilly in my house and I think this is a genius invention. I plan to add one to my kitchen cabinet soon!


Perfectly shaped to warm your hands! And at only $8.90, such a steal!

Perhaps in honor of Me Day, I will do some online shopping. Being able to shop from my couch was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me! Ha. But who doesnt love a hybrid of mail and new things. I'm all about it. Need to do a bit of laundry and my little brother is coming! Maroon 5 and Guster are playing here tomorrow so it will be a fun weekend.

Happy Friday to you all and have a great weekend!

Well hello there!

Hey Buds.. Finally have a few seconds to breathe. I have been busy nonstop this past week. If its not one thing its another... Exam in Theory, Exam in Accounting, Probability assignments, Senior Design report due and the list goes on and on...

Few things first..

Happy Belated Birthday to the USMC! They turned 234 yesterday! My dad was in the Marine Corps for 26 years so the Corps has been a huge part of my life. Love you Dad!

Second, Happy Veterans Day! Thank you to everyone who has served our country.

Third, thank you to the always fabulous Desperately Seeking Seersucker for this award. Love to a fellow Virginian (even though you are a transplant I'll still claim you!)

Here are the Rules for this award:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they've been nominated.

Alright here goes...

1. I rarely listen to an entire song. I have radio ADD and am always flipping through the stations, CDs, or my iPod. Then again, if there is a song that I love I can listen to it over and over and over.

2. I won a writing contest in elementary school for a story I had written about moving and how hard adjusting was.

3. My middle name is that of my paternal grandmother. She died before I was born and someday I want my daugthter to have it as her middle name as well.

4. My sister and I always get mistaken for twins. It used to REALLY bother us as kids. I'm over it now.. but I get bothered when people think shes the older one!

5. I am getting worried that I am never going to be content in life. While I never want to stop growing and learning new things, I have the feeling now that I had as a senior in high school.. part of me just wants to move on. Am I going to feel this way when I get older?

6. I cannot save money. This is going to bite me in the butt in a serious way when I get out on my own. Must learn self control now.

7. There's still that one boy that I hope is going to wake up in the morning and decide he doesnt want to just be my friend anymore. I think I need to get over that fantasy.

I feel like I am the last person in blog land to receive this award.. but if any of you have not.. consider yourselves Kreativ and wonderful ladies!

**Hello to my newest followers!

November, where did you come from?!

Hello all! It has been a few days.. not to mention we have started a new month AND set our clocks back an hour. If I remember correctly, they were considering doing away with Daylight Savings Time at one point? I don't think I would be opposed. I can remember a time in 6th grade going to the bus stop a whole hour early and being terribly freaked out that no one else was there. Anyways... Lost a follower. Boo. Am I the only one who takes this personally? I know I was gone for a few days but Im still hereeeee... still be my friend! :)

Laptop situation has only slightly improved. I had to order a new power cord, but they told me that there was nothing wrong with my laptop. FALSE. The battery is not charging even though the light indicates that it is and every time I turn it off it sets back to June 15, 2oo7. Interesting.

I registered for my last semester of classes this morning.. Strangeeeee. I feel like I will be the only one who is actually going to be doing work next semester. Seems that way from the number of my friends taking Dance Conditioning. I suppose that's what I get for majoring in Computer Science. Sweet.

My weekend was less than eventful. Was NOT in a festive mood and didnt go out Friday night. Caught up on this season of CSI: NY. LOVE me some Ed*die Cahil*l. (I have seen other people do that so their blogs don't come up when people are searching for the celebs? I doubt anyone will find me but just in case.) He is soo gorgeous.

This weekend brought to head some less than comfortable feelings. Part of the reason I didn't go out/dress up on Saturday was because all of the fraternities on campus have date parties, so you don't really want to show up alone. I know if I had a boy at this point in time I would have been all for getting matching costumes and going out. Without fear of being too vulernable.. I think I am just going to spill all my guts out today... Something I have yet to do on this blog but I figure what the hell..

I am 21 years old, a senior in college, about to be out on my own and I have never been in a committed long term relationship.

That feels SO uncomfortable to say out loud, but it is the truth. I can remember being in middle school and thinking once I get to high school there has got to be a guy for me, and thinking the same thing in high school about college. I have gotten the classic pep talk from girl friends: "It's not you, it's them.. there is a guy out there for you somewhere, you just have to wait, blah blah blah" A girl can only hear that so many times before really starting to question what it is that she's doing wrong. Or maybe that is just me.

My mother also gives me the "Boys are intimidated by you. You're intelligent and independent and they don't know what to do." Again, no one wants to hear that over and over. But I understand where she is coming from.. I have friends who I call chronic daters. They hop from one guy to the next and are absolutely TERRIFIED of being alone. Their whole worth is defined by the fact that they are in a relationship and I feel bad for them because I know that they arent capable of standing on their own but at the same time I can't help but be envious that they have someone.

I think part of my problem is that I have never been terribly self confident. I have had huge body image issues since middle school (which is a whole other blog post in itself), but over time I am learning to be more comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I can't really bring much to a relationship until I figure some things out for myself, and that is a work in progress. I think that in the long run, I will be fine. I went on dates this summer, something that I have never really done before and I am learning that it is a lot more about being the most confident girl in the room than the prettiest. After seeing so many people around me be in unhealthy relationships, I know exactly the kind of relationship I DON'T want and also what I do want and deserve, and I don't intend to settle.

If you made it through all of that, thank you. That felt good to get out.

*In other news, I am having an exceptionally fabulous hair day. Too bad I have to go spend the next few hours in the library. Boo.