Remember that big test that I was studying for and stressing out over? Confession: I didn't take it. I chickened out and didn't want to sit in front of a screen for 3 hours and fail the test. I wasn't getting passing scores on my pretests and I just felt pigeon holed into this very specific test for this very specific career. Is it wrong of me at 22 to just want a job and not a career? Career has such permanent undertones to me and it FREAKED me out. Not a total loss {other than the monetary loss of the test fee} because if I decide to stay in the field I am in now, I can take a different, more relevant series of exams. Therein lies the problem, I don't love what I am doing right now. Granted I feel like the office environment is playing a large part in my feelings towards my actual work, but like I've said before I want to do something that means something to me and I'm almost certain that pension plans ain't it. Professionally, I feel that I need to stay at this job until after our busy season which puts me at the end of October. Fine by me, that is a little over a year, a good chunk of time to put on a resume. The problem of my living situation comes into play because my lease is up in September, I want to move into Manhattan, I don't want to renew for a year out in the suburbs, but I cant afford to move in by myself, who could I live with? Could I get a 6 month lease and then get a new job and new apartment sometime in February or March? My brain just keeps working out all the different possible scenarios. I am considering drawing a flow chart, I think that would summarize this craziness the best. I know nothing needs to be decided today, and I can't really start applying for jobs now when the earliest I could start would be November. If you follow any of this at all, thank you. If not, it is fine because I don't really understand it myself.
i sort of love this. trying to move forward but feeling stalled and slow moving.
In other, less emo kid news, it is going to be 78 degrees today! If you have been reading for any length of time you know that I am not a fan of cold weather. My Jack Rogers have finally made their debut today. Yay for open toed shoes! Hope it is warm where you are as well. Thanks for finally getting here Spring, it has been long overdue.
Start looking for a job in the city. It is good to get out there and start interviewing. It is NEVER too early. And if a great job falls in your lap your current employer will have to understand.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your current landlord would go month to month if need be.
And if you need to commute out from the city for 2 months then do it. It is only 2 months. Will be worth it in the long run.
And that is my 2 cents :)
ReplyDeletewow -- seriously big potentially life changing decisions to be made...I am in limbo for very different reasons than you, but I know they feeling. Just waiting for something to happen.
ReplyDeleteI wish it was 78* here -- it's been close to 90 lately!! at least every afternoon it rains =)
Without meaning you are a young kid who can't make a difference int he world and aren't grown up...
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE 22! LIVE, MY FRIEND!
Hell no it isn't wrong to want to move into the city and kick up your heels for a few years :) Those are the experiences that make sitting at a desk and whacking on a keyboard eventually..tolerable.
Go for it!
sounds stressful but exciting! it is kind of thrilling to not know where you will be/ what you will be doing in 1, 2, 3.. years from now!
ReplyDeleteand yay for Jack's! mine haven't quite made it out of the closet yet, but very soon!
I am in the same boat. Read to move on, but waiting for a house to sell.. ughhhh and it's a rough market right now. I would start looking a job if I were you. I could on and on about this subject all day long... this time is a very confusing time in our lives. We are old enough to know that time is flying by and we need to make the right decisions to enjoy every moment, but young enough to still think and hope we have time to do it all....
ReplyDelete