Happy Fall everyone! Work has been absolutely intense the past week and a half so that explains my lack of posting/apartment photos/existence.
I can honestly say that I have never been more glad to NOT share photos of myself with you all. I feel absolutely awful about my general appearance and being right now. The scale and I have become mortal enemies, my skin is rebelling against me in a serious way, and things are just not looking up. After graduation, I came home for three months before starting the job that I thought I had lost and I THOUGHT I had a plan. I was going to get myself together, start living healthier, study for this preliminary exam I had in August, and for once prioritize myself. Fast forward to the end of September and while I may have a job and an apartment, I feel like I'm just sort of coasting through this life as opposed to actually being an active participant in it. I was feeling a lot of this before the move, looking into therapists/life coaches/anyone with a magic wand who could set me on the right road, but once I got the job I figured everything would magically be better. That of course would have been way too easy. I'm not terribly sure where this post is heading, but I just know I needed to get it all out. And after all, this is the place for me to do that right? I am no stranger to therapy and I feel like we would all be better off if we had a neutral party to talk to about all of life's little stumbles. I know in the end, I will be fine, but I think I have reached that point where things can't be put off anymore. I don't know what it feels like to not be worried about that extra 20 pounds or stressing because I waited until the last minute to finish an assignment or study for an exam. I feel like I have built my whole world about being uncomfortable, not necessarily unhappy, because I am too scared to succeed in the end.
Neutralization Titration Worksheet
4 years ago
Graduating from school and starting out in the "real world" is terribly overwhelming. We set such goals for ourselves, and then beat outselves up when we don't succeed 100% right out of the gate.
ReplyDeleteGive your self a year or so to get settled, but definitely focus on things that will make you happier and healthier along the way. Because in the end...that really is what's most important :)
I'll be rooting for you!
We all have these days. The real world can be incredibly stressful and overwhelming, but just try to remember the many positive things about YOU!
ReplyDeleteYou're clearly an amazing person -- with an awesome job and you're living on your own in NYC! That's pretty amazing. If you can get that far I know that you can succeed in the other aspects of your life!
I'll be thinking about you!
Born and raised outside of DC! Skins fan for my whole life!!!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you babe! I definitely agree with the therapist thing. I'm in school to be a counselor and I definitely agree that talking to a neutral party can be so helpful and eye-opening. I totally know where you are coming from about the appearance thing. Things will start falling into place soon! I just want you to be happy with yourself...it's something I've been struggling with for years, but I'm finally coming to the place in my life where I am...
ReplyDeleteAlso, like a MONTH ago on my last post about Ray, you wrote about William Fitzsimmons, just wanted to let you know I've started listening to him and like him a lot! Thanks for introducing me to his music :)
The adjustment from college to "the real world" is such a tough one and I know too many people who put too much pressure on themselves to do and be too much too soon. I know because I was one of them and still am at some points in time.
ReplyDeleteTake advantage of all that is there for you, whether that be talking to a professional, or doing some more writing here (cause you ahve lots of folks reading!) or whatever it is to make yourself feel better.
I recently had a friend ask me for advice about that college to real life period of time and what would I do differently and it was just plain and simple, not be so hard on myself. About my weight, my job, where I was living, and all of it.
Rooting for you :)